Dear SO,

I love you so much. That said, you piss me off so much. How fucking hard is it to take me out? How fucking hard is it to go somewhere together and do something? Why do you always scoff at my ideas and ask me WHY I want to go somewhere or do something? Dose it matter? I hate sitting in your broke down house all day and night doing nothing. You complain about having shit to do but never do it. I put new windows in. I had the ceiling fixed. I hate that you eat every fucking meal at your mother's. I'm an awesome cook! Why do you act like nothing is special? You say holidays are just another fucking day and in the next breath ask what I want. You act like nothing is worth celebrating EXCEPT your ungrateful son. You pay his rent. You pay for his specialized college. You buy his groceries and pay his utilities. You send him all the toiletries and supplies he needs because he can't go the store himself. He's 20! But just because he's an "artists" and "gifted" he can't be expected to have a job. I hate feeling like I'm last in line after your mom, after your son, after your family, after your work. I don't understand. I've been with you for 10 years but I've never met your family except your mom and son. Not your brother or sisters or nieces or nephews or their families. You won't talk about getting married. God you make me so fucking resentful and angry and it angers me more that I love you so much. You wanna know what I want for Christmas? I want to find my ex and where he's taken my kids. I want the baby that I lost in July back. I wanna feel like I'm number one. I wanna get out of the house and go on a real date.