Bad pap CIN grade 3

My whole world just felt smaller. I just got my pap reaults and I cant stop balling. Ive had abnormal before and went through the steps and everything was normal later... But my last pap i didnt follow up with 3 years ago now THIS! I have to wait for my referral and go in ASAP, but I cant stop freaking myself out that its going to be cancer and I wont be able to have children. Im so mad at myself that i didnt follow up the last time.

God save me! Ugh i hope this isnt the end to my baby dreams.