Hurt...

I need some real, honest advice please.

I have friends who come into town a couple times a year. We decided to do a girls' night last night, and had the greatest time!! My husband stayed home because he had to work this morning. Well, when me and the girls got back to my home, we decided to sit on my front porch and just talk, and were making jokes and giggling. Apparently we were being super loud because two hours later my husband sends me the ugliest text message about how I don't care that he has work because of the noise....He decides he wants to leave for work an hour early because he was so angry at me and I stepped in his way and he got in my face and pushed me. Me being in an abusive relationship before, my instinct was to start swinging. My friends saw the fuss and pulled me off of him and he swung on me and gave my friend a black eye. After I was pulled away, he immediately ran out of the house telling me he is filing for divorce.

I am mortified. I am hurt. I made a huge mistake swinging on him. Why couldn't I have gotten a warning in the first place? This could've been prevented from even happening. I have noticed since he got home from Afghanistan last year, his temper is super short and he's quick to write someone off which is a little strange.

I will not be leaving my husband because we both screwed up big time, but I am just at a loss for words. What do I say to make him understand that this could have been prevented? What can I do to show him I am truly sorry?