😢 I just can't anymore

Forewarning this is going to be a rant. I need to get it out of my system.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Lately I feel so depressed. I don't know if it's the time change and it's getting darker earlier that's making me feel like this. I don't know if it's this time of year with the holidays coming up. I'm really not in the mood for thanksgiving or Christmas. I just want to stay home under the covers all day. It could be the fact that I literally only see my husband once a week and when I do we end up fighting because of all the shit we have to accomplish in the tiny amount of time we have together. Or it could be the fact that we've been trying to get pregnant and this PCOS is making it nearly impossible. I don't know what to do. Last night I got drunk when I haven't drank in over a year because I couldn't deal with how I was feeling. I usually feel pretty in control of my feelings but the past week or so I just want scream and hit something. My husband doesn't understand how I'm feeling. I just don't want to do anything anymore.

I'm tired of fighting...