Let me preface that I was already diagnosed with depression and anxiety pre-pregnancy. My pregnancy itself was very difficult full of health concerns. My son arrived 10 weeks early which scared us all.

My hubby and I live out of state from any family, so we've been going at this with just the two of us. A lot of the time i feel like im on my own though because he puts in 10 to 12 hour shifts. He works all day to support us which I more than appreciate, and I've been at home with the baby -- but I hate being a SAHM, its not rigjt for me. I feel like I never have a moment for myself, that my hubby doesn't understand the help I really need, I don't even feel connected to my son. I feel because I'm not contributing to the family financially, I'm inadequate on that front as well. My hubby tells ms none of this is true and he's happy and loves our family, but I feel so empty, just drained.

It's lonely as a SAHM. The days are tedious and so long for me. Theres just hours of me and the baby and the crushing, debilitating thoughts in my head. How do you ladies do it? And it's exhausting. My hubby gets to "get off and go home," but not me. I ask him to watch the baby for a bit, and he says he's tired. Well, what does he think I am? It's due to different reasons, but I'm tired too.

I'm not sure the SAHM lifestyle is for me, particularly because just on hubby's income we are just treading water barely. I really need to work, but daycare is so out of our budget. And my mental prognosis hasn't been good. The doctor saw signs of PPD and sent me to a psychiatrist. Besides changing my meds up some, the psych has recommended I do therapy too.

Hubby and I have decided to move back to family, and I'm going back to work. I hope being around familiar surroundings and family again will help my mental state. I haven't felt like me since delivery, I feel just like a rundown machine that cooks, cleans, cares for baby. There are few days of being happy. Hopeful the move back puts me on track again.