10 years ago

I got pregnant with my first child.. I found out in November and in January I had a miscarriage right before entering my 2nd trimester. I told myself it wasn't meant to be I was very young and things happen for a reason. 5 years after that I got pregnant again with the same guy and miscarried at 6 weeks .. As bad as it sounds I am glad that pregnancy didn't stick. At the time I was in a very abusive relationship and although I got out right after the loss of the baby if I would have had the baby I'd still be linked to him and my child would have suffered. Here I am today about to go see the dr for the first time at 7 weeks I'm a nervous wreck. I am in the most loving relationship and have been for the last 4 years. He's my best friend and shows nothing but support. We planned on marrying in July but now it looks like we will be having a baby instead. Although it wasn't exactly planned we also weren't trying not to have children. We both wanted this badly. I feel guilty for having felt the way I do about my previous pregnancies. I feel like I might get punished by having things go wrong this time. I try to tell myself everything happens for a reason. I'm anxious to get to the Drs today. I just need some reassurance. We are in the best situation possible and I'm just afraid it's going to get torn apart.