Any NICU/L&D/Postpartum Nurses?

Question

Are there any NICU, L&D, or postpartum nurses here that recently had a miscarriage? I'm a NICU nurse and this miscarriage and returning to work has been so hard on me. I know it's hard for everyone, but I was looking to talk to someone who has the same job stressors (around babies every day at work) to talk to. I feel so alone. I miscarried on 10-22-15 at 7w2d.

Answer

I am a full time nanny as well as a babysitter for many other families so I work with LOTS of kids all the time. My full time family is currently very pregnant and expecting baby #2 in January.

I can't relate to your struggle to return to work. While it is heartbreaking, I love my job. I mean I absolutely love it. I get to play with kids of all ages, newborn through school age all day, everyday. I've actually enjoyed working more since losing our baby (just a week ago today we found out, and I had a D&C on Weds.) "My" kids are the brightest part of my day. Their beautiful innocence and their big hopes. That's why I wanted to be a mommy - because I love kids. I refuse to resent any babies or children or pregnant women just because a little science got mixed up. I know my own baby is forever safe wherever they may be. They live on in my head, heart and home and will always be my first child.

Answer

NICU nurse cont.........

This is going to sound horrible and please don't judge. But in away seeing so many sick babies that do have chromosomal abnormalities and severe disorders. Makes me grateful that my little ones went to a better place early on. The doctor is saying that there must have been an abnormality or chomisone abnormality. To carry a baby to term just to watch them die before their first birthday or a few months after birth. Or to have a kid that is going to be totally dependent on others, in and out of the hospital there whole lives, in pain and sick.  That truely would be harder for me to live threw and those that do (both mom and kid) are amazingly strong people!!

Answer

I'm a nicu nurse and have had two miscarriages in the last 6 months and I have kind of lost my joy for my job... It is like PTSD just coming back here because I had my D&c just one floor down and I have to walk the same path as I did that day.. It's so hard being here :( it has been 4 weeks since my most recent loss at 13wks

Answer

I'm a labor and delivery RN...it took us over a year to get pregnant and once it finally happened we were over the moon! Unfortunately we found out at our first appointment that our baby had stopped growing the week before at 7w4d. I had a D&C on October 6 and went back to work on the 8th. It was the hardest thing I've ever done...so hard to listen to pregnant women complain about being miserable and pregnant, I'd do anything to be in their position. I'm much better now...there was definitely a process for me but I'm good now and I know you will be too. Best of luck to you all and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Answer

I'm not a NICU nurse but I am an RN.  Work was difficult for me to return to mainly because my geriatric residents are constantly asking if I have children.  I'm able to just answer no, but then they go on about how I should start soon or say it will happen & that is what breaks my heart.  I know they mean well, but for the first month after my miscarriage it took everything in me to not burst into tears.

Answer

It'll be 4 weeks tomorrow. The last few days I have been feeling extra sad and emotional. I would never admit this to my husband but I think it might be my sadness about the MC and PMS hormones mixing. (I Never admit I'm hormonal 😉) I started spotting alittle today so I am guess AF is about to show.

I was 9w4d along when we had the MC.

I also want two kids (no kids yet) and I don't want to be over a sertain age so time is not on my side as far as taking my time.

I guess it's a little bit of irony since I'm so type A. Since I have my life planned to a "t". Except this part isn't going as planned...... I just want to woke up and fine it's all just a bad dream.

My husbands family are planning on doing Christmas at our house. I personally want to cancel Christmas in general this year. 😕 I haven't decorated at all or planned any type of meal items or wrapped the gifts..... Uuggg

Answer

Yeah, my doctor gave me the go ahead too. But also put me on Zoloft since I can't seem to get out of my funk. I don't know if I'm ready to try again or not. Like you said, I don't want to wait forever. It took us 10 months this time, if it's going to take 10 months again I want to try now because I want two kids and I want a gap between them and I don't want to be past a certain age with the second. However like you said, I don't know if I could be excited about a new pregnancy at this point. Ugh, it's so scary and makes me so anxious. My husband suggests the "trying but not trying" thing too, but my personality can't handle that. I need to know things like if I'm ovulating or not. How long ago was your miscarriage?

Answer

I ment loosing not kissing (should have proof read it) 😊

Answer

I agree with you. My dr gave the go ahead after a regular cycle, which I am still waiting for 😕. But then I am not sure. I am still pretty emotional about the loss some days and I don't know if I will be ready to be excited about another pregnancy. However it took us 5 month to get pregnant and I don't want to be waiting forever for a baby. My clock is ticking 😁 Some days I am feeling ready to try again. After all the stress of trying and then when I did get pregnant kissing the babies I have come to the conclusion that this while thang is out of my controls. Which is really hard for me since I am a planner and control freak. So I think for the next two cycles I am going to relax and have unprotected sex when we feel like it with out tracking ovulation and cervical mucus and temps and all that other crap. So not really trying but letting go a bit and just letting what happens happen.

Answer

My reply continued.....

The other hard thing for me is I do Bereavement Photography, I've done one session since my miscarriage. I'm happy I was able to provide that family with photo memories, but I'm sad I don't have anything like that. I had 2 doctor appointments for lab work, one viability scan, and then at my 7 week appointment the baby was gone. We have ultrasound pictures from the viability scan, and we got to hear the heartbeat, I'm just sad I don't have more. That's why we ended up doing the "Rememberance Photo Session." I just got done with my first period this week, I'm trying to decide if I'm ready to try again or not.....My heart says no, because I feel like I'll feel guilty. My heart says yes, because it took 10 months to get pregnant this time & if it's going to take that long again we need to start now.

Any NICU/L&D/Postpartum Nurses?

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