Leaving a soilder (army wives opinions needed to)

So my SO is in the army he is not deploying yet ,he is reserved. Our relationship has been good until befor he left for training and after he got back. Im really hurt guys i buss my ass trying to be the perfect fiance guys i make my day revolve around him i dont piss him off i try to get him to be open i do everything and for some reason hes not noticing it. I can sit here and say i want longer weave and he would get mad and then i hold my ground and he will tell me im sick of ur bullshit . I know in the army they face bs on a daily basis and i make sure theres no bs waiting for him when he gets home but yet he still flips out . Hes not noticing nothing i do last nite he wanted to find a healtier alternative for chewing tobacco (he used it in highschool and stopped) since his craving came bak while in training and even though i dont like when guys do drugs but that didnt change how much i love him or anything so i told him  "hey babe is the craving severe like are u gonna use the real thing? "he says no so i say " ok well if u was then ill still be here and we can help u get off i was jus scared that it would be severe i dont want you have to turn back to using it but if theres alternatives then im ok with that i jus wanted to state my fears so i can get over em and continue being supportive im proud of you for choosing a alterntive" so then he says "thats why i dont tellu nothing its funny how u think its ok to ruin my day the women with a plan right i lay my life on the line im out here fighting and yet nothings ever good enough for you do i not fit ur standards i feel like im being judged " while hes saying that im thinkin damn thats insulting considering i buss my ass trying to be perfect guys im not a bad fiance man but this is what i face everyday he will basically talk to me like im high and mighty you know "who U think you are mrs perfect" and guys i feel shitty asl like a prisoner like im not good enough and i feel like if i was to leave i would be wrong asl because hesa soilder. Ladies pleese help