This is long, but I will do my best to keep it short. I didn't know which board was appropriate.

I had an uncomplicated birth no medications do to not realizing I was in labor and gave birth within 2 hours of arriving at the hospital. 1st child. Like planned my boyfriend did have to work so I didn't see him much at the hospital. He did make it for the birth from work, so all is fine there.

Did have some stress and anxiety in the three weeks of maternity leave that I had accrued of time off, but that was normal new parent with no sleep. My boyfriend was working two jobs day in and day out so I was doing it on my own. So not much rest plus running the household.

I got my period back quickly after birth and got put on the birth control implant. Serious migraines so limited options, tried mini pill had bleeding issues. Since then besides spotting 5 weeks in a row and having two or three days without then starting again, my mood has been horrible. Had a few times before the birth control where I would get frustrated with my daughter but now almost every day I don't want to be around her and I can't stand it when she cries. But I'm also so anxiety ridden, not sure if that is the right word, where I cannot stand it if she cries in public. I feel like if she's crying she's inconveniencing people around me. Nurotic might be better word. A lot of this also has to do with she goes to work with me and if she is crying I don't get my work done and I am worried about my job future as well. I work 3 jobs as it is. 1 full time nanny job and two part-time babysitting. I feel like I've worked with kids 10 years i should have this down.

But then I now feel bad because of all the birth control issues at my poor boyfriend has basically been neglected in the bedroom for going on for months. He says it's okay and he understand, but he has some issues as well and has to take medication for bedroom activities and can not reach climax from oral or other things so sex is our only real option in the bedroom and I can't do that now. So I feel crappy about that, on top of feeling crappy about how I feel about my baby and you put it all together and I just feel horrible day in and day out.

Mostly I needed to just get this off my chest because Planned Parenthood refuses to take the implant out until I've at least tried it for 3 months and I am currently at 6 weeks. We're hoping that when I call and if I go the whole mental depression route they will take it out sooner, because I know they had said for spotting issues they wouldn't till at least 3 months.