My mother and her husband of 7 or more years came from Nevada to California for their week vacation which they based around my son's 1st birthday. They own a RV and park it at the bay, the plan was to stay there for two nights including new years <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a>. At this time I am recovering from minor surgery and on medication that makes me drowsy and my son is heavily sick for the first time (snot and congestion galor). Upon arriving, the decorations that I had already put in the rv 2 days before were still in the box, as I try to figure out how to entertain my son and get them up (mind you, day of birthday) my husband is unpacking the car and all the little essentials including bumbo and activity center, suitcase, premade food for baby for two days ext. Meanwhile, my mother and her husband are laying out on lawn chairs in the sun, the rv is wide open and it's cold outside (maybe it was warmer earlier, but it's getting cold quick) but they wouldn't think that because of a reason you'll find out soon.

As I am hussling around trying to get everything situated, they come over to the table, my mother thankfully grabs a camera (my husband is taking pictures already) and her husband just sits at the table, the entire time...for the most part holding a lighter to light the 1 on my son's cake....even though no one is near it or ready for that. I had to tell him three times not to light it (if you keep doing it...it'll obviously run out of wick and be usless).

Anyways it was a shit show...to date I have no idea if I have a picture with my son on his birthday...correction** I do from my husbands camera but i look incredibly pissed off. I was able to switch with my husband at one point and get great photos of him. (Of course I cried about that). Mom's husband doing nothing entire time...and if you have children you know it's already hard to be in the moment..but I thought I would be able to with their help.

The cherries on top, it wasn't till after that debacle and when we were just opening presents..I realized what was in the thermoses..it wasn't hot cocoa, it was wine. My mother was fine, but he was shit faced. My husband and I were not drinking, even offered for that matter (not that we would anyways but its the point). The sprinkles on top was that my mother's husband, yet again not doing anything (help us throw away trash, or open presents, or hold your "grandson" as he calls him...SOMETHING), was sitting on the lawn chair, drinking what I now know is wine, and starts to talk about (his words not mine) "black people and what they are called, n******, but we cant say that word..but I will anyways". Who knows what he's on about, seriously talking to himself out loud I have no clue.....all I know is my husband is trying to record family videos of our sons first birthday and my jaw dropped, I looked at him and shook my head in disgust.

I finally spoke with my mother last night after two days to cool down and get my words right, in secret and told her how I felt i.e I spend a lot of my time raising my child to respect me (in future to respect others), to be kind, to be nice (even to the cat) and why in the hell would I want my child around some low class, disrespectful, uneducated man (he is)? She completely apologized, understood, was wondering when I would finally reach out and say it, and that they have spoke a couple times about it while both feeling embarrassment (she even said she cried about it). But 10 minutes after that call, she asks and I agree to skype so they can see my son. And what happens, nothing, he sat there like nothing even happened....while almost seeming annoyed or something. No apologies, no explanation, nothing.

I of course thought about that all last night, texted my mom this morning and basically said, this is the exact behavior I have an issue with. It is an extreme lack of respect for anyone or anything, and he comes off as though he has nothing to apologize for and/or assumes that I will sweep it under the rug. But, I obviously cannot, and that's why I am here to get your opinions. I see several red flags, and my mother is my best friend (literally), so I am so ashamed to say that they both have failed me...him more than her.