So i am definitely not comfortable with the way my body is changing, how it looks, how i feel. Before getting pregnant i was lean, fit. I had the start of abs! No hips. No boobs.

Now i look like a bloated ew and nothing fits me. I hate how my hips are getting wider. Ive lost so much muscle. I despise my chest. I hate how everything is jiggling. This totally consumes me to the point of crying every day. I cry in the stores when i have to buy bigger clothes.

My husband wants sex every time he is home from work. I hate it. I dont want to do it. I cry when we are having sex because i can feel my gross bloated belly touching his. (He's super lean with like 0% body fat.) I told him this and he tells me to shut up. I wont let him turn any lights on after until i am out of the room or completely dresses. I feel ashamed.

It took my 4 years to go from a size 16 at 196# to a size 4 at 138# and only 3 months to go up almost 2 pants sizes in my waist and god only knows how many pounds. I refuse to get on the scale. Im totally devistated by my body and how i feel about it. I dont want to feel or look unhealthy again!

I should be happy and thankful. Weve been together 10 without contraception. Weve been trying for 3 years. So why do i feel like a piece of garbage