Why do I do this to myself??

✨Sarah✨ • I`m 29, married for 6 years (together for 11!) and TTC #2. We have a gorgeous 5 year old girl who is starting kindy soon
I had my mirena out about 6 weeks ago via laparoscope with a D&C. I had my first period 2 weeks ago, probably ovulated in CD13... It's now CD16 and I've got spotting, like I get the day before my period. I told myself it's my cycle being out of whack from the mirena, but keep googling stuff that gives me hope... Some sites say IB can happen as early as 3DPO, but logically I know this is highly unlikely. Plus I had one small clot... IB is not supposed to have clots (as I understand), but of course I googled and found some women apparently did get clots... Again, I really don't think it's IB, but I can't stop hoping! Tomorrow I'll probably wake up to full-in AF and I'll be devastated. Why is it so depressing?? 😥