I didn't realize wanting something so bad would be this difficult. But I am going to say that every month that your dream doesn't come true you get awakened with a sense of understanding. I'm how precious having a child really is. How it really is a miracle. People don't realize how much they take things forgranted. And I am very thankful for this journey. Although, it is stressful, nerve wracking and heart breaking, I am thankful. Had I not have to endure this struggle I would not have realized the beauty of it as much as i do now. I see, a child is truly a gift from God that only he can manifest upon us. I have to learn patience. Every single day is hard because it's every single day that I'm not pregnant. But it's okay. Because I believe in time, I will get there. So, yes I understand now. It's not something that can come so easy for some people. And it's those people who really have to gain faith. I am trying all I can do. I even stopped stressing so much about it. But still doesn't change the fact that it's weighing on your heart so much. I battle myself everyday, telling myself honestly, if it never happens, I don't think I will ever be okay" because the constant wonder, what ifs, and just aching to be pregnant, I don't think that will ever go away as bad as I want it.

I pray everyday, for peace and understanding. I know a lot of you feel the same I do. But I vow to never give up EVER. In other news. Af is due tomorrow-monday. Yay!. 😑

*just venting* anyone else who wants to vent feel free to do so. I'm all ears, or eyes. Lol