8 Ways to Answer Unsolicited Parenting Advice

In the world of parenting, it seems like everyone thinks they’re an expert. The dreaded unsolicited parenting advice comes from strangers, friends and family alike: “Isn’t she too big for a stroller?” or “I know a great way to stop that child from crying!” What do you do when confronted with unwanted opinions about your parenting style?

First, take a deep breath and realize that irrelevant, inappropriate and even offensive advice is everywhere—and that it’s probably inevitable. All kinds of people have opinions on how to raise your child. How do you deal?

The Wakanheza Project, run by Donald Gault from the Saint Paul-Ramsey County Public Health Department, is an innovative effort to promote welcoming community environments. One of its goals is to help well-intentioned advisers understand that “offering your advice on what someone is doing wrong, or could do better, with their child will almost certainly have the opposite effect.” The folks on the flip side—moms and dads on the receiving end of unsolicited parenting advice—already know this.

“Each of us [should] try to recognize how challenging it is to parent in public, and seek opportunities to provide support and kindness to parents and children,” says Gault. “It is amazing how a kind glance, a nod of the head, or an offer to hold the door or let a family ahead of you in line can diffuse a seemingly escalating situation.”

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