Baby shower

I'm planning my shower and so many people are telling me I'm doing it wrong! I am allowing men and children and not allowing alcohol. My SO has a lot of male friends that would LOVE to come to the shower, I have a lot of girl friends bringing their boyfriends/husbands and children, and my mom doesn't drink or like being around drinking (because her father was an abusive alcoholic and so are almost all of her 11 siblings) and I want to respect her by just not having it there. But my cousins shower is going to be a BYOB shower! And everyone is questioning why there will be men and kids there! I'm so confused! What do I do? What's the right way?