Is he or isn't he??

Question

I just can't read my fiancé lately... I blame it on my crazy hormones. But I just can't tell if he is excited or not. Maybe he is scared?

I'm going to go register for our sweet angel today, and obviously asked him to come with me. His first response was "isn't that something girls do together?" Ummm well you're the dad and I figured you'd want to see what she needs and help with colors etc... So last night he said what do you have going on tomorrow? I said remember we are registering for the baby. He said oh... What time? He wants to watch the hockey all star competition or something. 
So needless to say I'm super annoyed, so I tell him to forget it and I'll have my sister and 8 year old neice come with me (they planned on it anyways).

But it just hurts my feelings. And like I said I don't know how to read him.... 
I'm pretty sure he is excited.. I know he is not a shopper - we've been together 6 years and I think we've only shopped at Best Buy together. But come on!!! Make an exception!

Am I being crazy? Haha

Answer

They say a woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant. And a man becomes a father when the baby is born.  It's hard for them to get excited about something they haven't experienced yet.  We get to feel baby move and stuff but I'm sure he will get more into it when the baby arrives.

Answer

I think that's a normal way for men to act. I sometimes wish my husband would be more excited but it is what it is.

Answer

My husband is very practical.  What a baby NEEDS is very limited: place to sleep, car seat, etc. He views a lot of extras (swing, bouncer) as clutter, so he's not into the whole registering thing.  Doesn't mean he's not super excited about our son.

Answer

Don't feel bad. My husband and I did my registry last night and he was completely unenthusiastic and had an opinion about nothing 😭😭😭 lol I guess that's just a man's way.

Answer

I would be annoyed but I wouldn't have my planned for my sister to come along if I wanted him to be an active participant.

Answer

This is our third and my husband could careless about shopping. It's not that he doesn't care about the pregnancy, it's something most guys don't like to do.

Answer

God i hope so!  My fiance is the same way! He has never come to my midwife appointment s but that's because of work, i feel like i have to struggle for him to pay attention to the pregnancy..., they say moms become moms right away, whereas the dad needs to meet the baby first but it makes me sad too

Answer

Well - here is what happened! I started at target with my sister and neice.. And I was overwhelmed ha! So I ended up calling him and told him to stay home- that he didn't have to go to buy buy baby with us! He was super thankful! We had a chat and he let me know he just doesn't know what she will need, and really as long as I am getting reasonable stuff and safe stuff he doesn't care! Haha

Answer

I know it's hard because this is a big step for us in the preparation process, but we should try not to attach too much meaning to men's interest (or lack thereof) in the details.  Some guys get into it, some don't.  My friend's husband was all about it but mine seems quite comfortable leaving that part to me. I'm actually glad I dont have to consult him on every little thing!

If you feel that you need him to engage in this with you (which is totally understandable), you could ask him if there's anything he would like to add, or ask his advice on safety features. My husband perked up at that and decided on a certain type of car seat. He also added baby headphones, so... That was interesting haha. Also, Babylist online allows you to do one from home instead of going to the store - maybe it's the actual shopping part that he doesn't like? You could always have your store one and an online one. :)

I hope you enjoy making your registry and I'm sure your sister will be a big help! Good luck!

Answer

It's really relatively recent that our society has expected dads to be involved with anything concerning babies between conception and weaning. Some guys are into it and some aren't, and I think that's okay. Just find female friends and relatives to do things like shopping with and let him help where he wants to (typically putting together furniture and stroller, installing the carseat, etc.).
He'll be more interested later on, I'm sure.

Is he or isn't he??

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