When does it cross the line for an ex to stay in touch with your family

Question

My ex and my grandmother are very close. When we first parted ways after 3 years I advised him due to the loss of his own gram I had no issue with him remaming in contact with my grandma and now I regret saying that. It started off with conversations about me. I kindly asked him to keep me out of the conversations and I kindly asked her to respect my choice to move on and to not discuss me with him. Months later I've moved on and I'm very happy in my new relationship however today I find out my ex went to visit my gram and he showed up with his new girlfriend and her daughter. I feel 3000 percent disrespected and I feel like as a woman I wouldn't dare go with my man to visit his exes family. Like for one why are they relevant to you and for 2 how uncomfortable would it be to see pictures of the previous woman all over the house and know that her grandma is probably judging me. Next i felt disrespected even more because I would never go to his parents home with my man and why would he feel that its okay. Then a part of me wonders if he did it so that it would get back to me. I'm so pissed what are your thoughts?

Answer

So it was cool for him to visit your grandma by himself, but now that he's brought his new gf you don't like it?

Answer

You don't control your family. They are their own people, who have their own friends, and you can't just tell them to stop visiting with people just because you don't like it. Get over it. He has a connection with your grandma, so what? If it bothers you, then you probably still have some sort of feelings left for him that you haven't come to terms with. Otherwise you would just consider them two people who happen to get along, enjoy each others company, and respect each others advice. You both moved on from the relationship you once had, so why does it bother you so much if he retains a connection with someone he enjoys?

Answer

Maybe it was just he felt that since they are close and you said it was okay for them to continue speaking that she is kinda his grandma too. Maybe he wanted her opinion of the new girlfriend and wanted to share them with her. I'm not sure I am just throwing an option out there. You never know with men. They can be so dense sometimes. But it makes you uncomfortable maybe you should tell him you would rather they end their relationship.

Answer

Well, I do see my exes family. But not him ( we tried being friends but we just end up killing each other). 
I saw his mum ( who I consider my mum) a bit, talked constantly until she passed. 
And I speak to his brother nearly every day.
And I don't think it's weird at all.
But they were my foster family.. So situation is different..

But you did say he could.. And he has clearly moved on from his life with you, but nan fills a void he is missing. I say let him have that.

Answer

Maybe this is a part of their rrlayionship. Maybe he really does think of her as a grandma and he wants her to k is his new gf. I think you need to get over it. You allowed it, now being all butt hurt about it because he brought his new gf just makes you look petty and jealous.

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idk maybe say something to your ex

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I was really close to my ex's dad. I didn't really have a dad growing up so I became attached. When we broke up, I still saw his dad and he never treated me any differently but as time went on, we lost contact. He's met my husband. I didnt do that to disrespect, to rub in anyone's face, to make anyone jealous.. None of that. My husband just simply was with me that day. If you have moved on and you truly don't care who he's with and what he's doing.. I don't see what the problem is. He grew close to your grandmother. His being close to her has nothing to do with you.. Even if it is biologically your grandmother. You're making this about you and you shouldn't. As long as you don't have to visit him.. I don't see why you care. People are allowed to form bonds with others and just because you break up, doesn't mean that bond had to be cut.

Answer

I wouldn't like it either.  Tough position to be in.

Answer

Well you gave him premission so...

When does it cross the line for an ex to stay in touch with your family

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