Feeling unhappy about pregnancy

 ( actually I CANT get him off my lap, he screams the entire time I'm trying to use the bathroom) . I have nursed him this entire time and my milk supply is starting to drop, but I guess he is one of those kids that isn't going to give up his milkies and comfort that easily. He's really fighting it. I feel like I have worked so hard nursing him this entire time and it has definitely been stressful and I don't think I can do it again with another one. 

I don't like to feel trapped and that is the way I feel with a little one that is still so young, and being pregnant again on top of it. I hate being stuck in the house, I hate not having a job , and I hate that i have to put my life on hold for 2 more years at least . By the time I can get to work and do something for myself I will be 35 and will have lost all of my skills and have no resume. 

I don't like gaining weight or being fat. It sounds selfish I guess. I am uncomfortable gaining weight, it feels like I am in someone else's body. I can't take care of these kids if I can't take care of myself and I am MISERABLE living like this. My husband is awesome and he helps out a lot, but he still doesn't completely understand how I feel and is frustrated because he thinks I should be happy sitting here all day. I am seriously considering terminating this pregnancy because I don't think I am the type of person who can handle this. And even if I can I am really feeling like I don't want to. I am afraid of both of the outcomes and I really don't know what to do I am just so miserable and scared. I just want this to be over and go on about my life. Unfortunately I can't help the way that I feel and every day it is getting worse!