Any advice?

Question

I am a sexual assault victim, I have been married for 6 months and my husband has been a gem about it. The end of February is the "anniversary" of the assault, (not that it's really an anniversary) but even though it was 8 years ago I find myself even more emotional this year as it comes closer.. I'm closed off, depressed, unmotivated and I am trying so hard not to be this way especially because of my husband.. He doesn't deserve the way I am acting but I can't seem to shake it this year and I don't know why. I'm worried it's going to get worse the farther into this month it gets and I don't know what to do... Any advice?

Answer

Counseling. If you've never worked through this it's going to be hard to overcome it.

Answer

You haven't let it go. You're still holding on to it. I know it's not easy. I'm also a victim of rape by a boyfriend. The only thing that helped me, was telling myself I wasn't going to let it define me. That it was only a part of me, not who I am.

Answer

Definitely see a counsellor. And talk to your husband to let him support you and stand by you as you go through this difficult time. Stay strong :)

Answer

It was 4 years in November for me. I've been in therapy the entire time but to wasn't until recently it started to click. Therapy is good and you should definitely go, but know that it isn't going to just fix how you feel. It takes work and that work can be really hard to make yourself do. It's not human nature to want to rehash things that bring you pain. But if you can make the effort and make yourself bring back the pain so you can work through it, it WILL help you start to heal. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't let yourself feel guilty if it takes time. Just do what you can do when you can do it. If you can handle letting your husband be involved in sessions from time to time, I found that to be very helpful because my therapist was able to explain some things I was going through in ways I couldn't. Just start by finding a therapist and go from there. And remember there isn't a time limit on how long it takes to start healing. You'll get there,just the fact that you're reaching out now is a big step.

Answer

I suggest counseling. I'm also a rape survivor and therapy helped when I did it. There's no shame in getting help.

Answer

It's been over 10yrs for me, and I still have issues in November on occasion. There's no "set time" to get over it. Just strive to make each day a tiny victory for yourself and your happiness. Therapy helps. Meds help. For me, a once-a-year session with taking acid + MDMA helps TREMENDOUSLY (no, I'm not advocating for anyone to get hooked on drugs - I do it once or twice a YEAR, at most). Figure out what works for you, and take care of yourself.

Answer

Have you ever received professional counselling for this?

Answer

From personal experience, it's just like the anniversary of any other tragedy. You know it's coming. You know it's going to be hard. I think feeling guilty that you have these feelings are probably making it worse. If your husband is anything like mine, he doesn't want you to hide what you're feeling from him out of a misplaced sense of guilt. He wants to be there for you in any way he can now because he can't go back in time and stop it from happening. He can only show you that better things await.

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