Am I wrong for being upset?!

Question

My brother-in-law proposed to his girlfriend the weekend before we found out I was pregnant. No one really knew he was gonna propose until the week before. We also told them I was pregnant right away. They have set their date when I will be 38 weeks across the country and asked my husband to be the best man! Am I wrong for being upset?

Update: I am not upset with my BIL for the date he has chosen. They picked this date because it is special to them.  They did not pick the date until after they found out I was pregnant and to have it 20+ hours away from where they and their family live. Also from the beginning they said that it wasn't a set date and wouldn't mind changing it for us to be there, then they didn't. The plan is for my husband to go and I to say. I am more upset at the situation that I can go into labor, with our first child, and my husband not be there. Also, I live 4 hours away from any of my own family.

Answer

I mean, I wouldn't be upset that you aren't in their wedding just because she was in yours. She has a different vision for her wedding and there's nothing wrong with that. The fact that they didn't consider that you will be super pregnant and that they asked your husband to be best man when you could be giving birth any time at that point is actually kind of rude. Even if that date does mean something to them I feel like you and your husband presence should be more important than a date. I hope your husband isn't seriously considering being that far away at a wedding when you're 38 weeks pregnant and I hope he's planning on having a conversation with his brother about it.

Answer

No. It's their wedding, and they can't make their date just for you. It could have special meaning, or a time they already decided on beforehand. If it's that big of deal let your husband go and you stay home.

Answer

Maybe get your man to talk to him and say that he needs to be there for the baby, 38 weeks is full term. If he is too far away from you he could miss the birth of his child. I'm sure they just haven't thought of that. I hope your partner stands by you though, you get very clingy towards the end with your man.

Answer

I mean, I guess I understand why you're mad. But maybe they picked that day because it means something to them? I completely get that they should have considered the best man needing to be there for his pregnant wife, but that kinda sounds selfish on both ends. He can decline or tell them that's not a good time for him.

Answer

My best friend was pregnant when I got engaged. I worked my reception around the birth of her child. I did that because I wanted her to be there. People do this all the time.

Answer

Heck no! Have you (or your husband) talked to him and let him know that your about to pop? I mean they can decide when they get married, you can't really decide when they baby comes. I'd personally talk to your bil and his finance and let them know that your husband would be unable to attend the wedding at said time because its way to close to your due date and there is no saying if baby will come early. At 38 weeks if you go into labor they won't stop it so take them aware (maybe they aren't thinking clearly).

Answer

I would probably be upset. Just cause I would wanna be at the wedding too. And being 38 weeks pregnant you never know if the baby would come early or not? I know for a fact I would be upset and complain about it.

Answer

Definitely tell them that your husband can not be involved in wedding because he needs to be by your side in case you go into labor and you both need to be close to home and your doc. Other than that I would just ignore them.

Answer

No you're not wrong for being upset, but they'll have to understand if your fella has to stay home if you're not okay to travel.

Answer

They might not have realized that it is so close to your due date, or even if they know it's close they might not know that it is totally fair game to deliver around then! Talk to your fiancé and have him talk to his brother. I would be upset with my fiancé if he opted to travel more than an hour or two from me so close to the due date as I would not want him to be absent from supporting me in birth and missing his child arriving. I'd be disappointed to miss the wedding myself but not upset with my BIL.

Am I wrong for being upset?!

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