Losing someone...

So, I lost my grandad a week ago today... I'm finding it so hard to come to terms with it. He was a huge father figure and influence in my life, we were so close and would speak all the time even if I couldn't see him due to work etc. He had been in and out of hospital since before Christmas but Friday night came and we thought he was getting better then the hospital called my mum on Saturday evening and gave him 48 hours.. he didn't even make 24 hours.. everyone keeps saying to me it's ok to cry but I physically can't... well on that day and on Friday at his funeral I was an absolute mess but the rest of the week I haven't cried all that much. I can't even let the words come out my mouth.. is there something wrong with me? I'm not ready to be back at work and face everyone but I'm not crying either I just don't know how to process it all. I know this isn't really the place but I don't know who else to talk too.... I miss him so much.