Having troubles...

Lacey • Mommy to an Angel 1.14.16; wife 9.24.16; rainbow baby 4.4.17 && Baby #3 Due 4.28.20
Hey ladies. 
I'm having issues with something. So my son was born at 30 weeks 5 days and passed before he was born due to a lethal genetic disorder he had.
My due date was March 19, 2016. 
Now before hand, I had planned on going on maternity leave and having my last day be Friday February 26, 2016. Well my issue is that since he isn't here, I'm not contemplating on going back to work. I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea that I'll be going back to work when I was supposed to be off of work to finish preparing for our little man and then be taking care of him. 
It really has been bothering me lately and I just don't know how to deal with it. 
Anyone else been in the same boat as me?