I just need to vent. I don't really need advice. Just need somewhere to complain. I don't even care if anyone reads it.  I don't want to put this stuff on Facebook or tell anyone because I don't want attention. But I'm just so sad all the time. And feel so alone. The father of my baby won't talk to me because I didn't get an abortion like he wanted and I know I'm better off without him. It just hurts so bad that he won't respond when I text him or anything. Makes me feel so unimportant and easy to forget about.  I usually travel for a living but I'm at home until I have my baby. So I don't have any friends around here. I want a guy so bad to go out and do stuff with and to cuddle me when I just want to hug someone. I know plenty of boys who would have sex with me but I know I'm better than that. And it sucks but I know it's better to wait for the right person and time and to not date anyone just to have someone to date so I'm going to continue to be alone. It just makes me feel depressed. And sometimes I worry that I won't love my daughter as much as I should because of the feelings I have towards her dad. People say it won't be like that and it won't matter who she came from. But I still worry. I hope that when she get here I won't feel so alone all the time. Or that I won't care about her dad ignoring us and not wanting us. 11 and a half weeks to go. Seems like forever.