I'm crazy not insane

We lost our baby girl last March when I was 22wks pregnant. She had Turner syndrome and holes in her heart and kidney.i don't understand why this happened to us I was doing everything I was supposed to. I don't drink, smoke, drugs. I took prenatal drank water at least a gallon a day if not more I ate properly ect.. but it happened and I can't change anything about it. I don't know if it's because I miss her and want her so bad to be with me but I find myself getting flutters in my stomach every now and then ( probably gas) but I find myself caressing the spot and humming a song I'm not insane and I'm not like those people who carries a fake doll around or anything. I just love that feeling the feeling of the baby when it's moving and kicking or it has the hiccups. I know I'm just ranting and probably doesn't make sense or I'm the only one who feels this way but I just wanted to share this and see what other people say. See if u do need to check myself in a hospital or not.