When I first found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. I had all these plans for the year and I didn't want to give them up (and yes, they were plans I would absolutely have to give up for a baby). 

My husband and I have a fabulous, loving, supportive relationship. We've been married 2.5 years and together for almost 6. We have great jobs that pay the bills and support our hobbies. We have a safe home. We are "the right age" to have kids. On paper, it looks perfect. 

But I freaked out. I wasn't ready. It wasn't planned. I found out three days after my missed period, so very early. It was a Friday. My husband was going away on a camping trip with his friends that weekend. 

I asked the doctor about abortion. I told her I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I wasn't sure I wanted a baby. I wasn't sure I could abort my baby. My husband and I would not adopt the baby out, so if we kept it, it would be ours. She told me she would support me in either case, and let me know to call if I needed anything. 

I seriously considered aborting the baby while my husband was camping, and telling him that we lost the baby. 

This is huge because I have never lied to my husband, but I considered it. And I don't think I could ever have an abortion, but I considered it. 

Our baby boy is due any day now, and I'm so, so glad I decided to keep him. My husband and I are so in love with him already. The plans I made last year can be completed this year, and the wait hasn't seemed so bad. Everything has gone perfectly and I've enjoyed an even deeper and more meaningful relationship with my husband. But he doesn't know what I had actually, legitimately considered. I know he would never judge me, and the fact that I didn't go through with it is enough to know where my heart lies. 

I guess I just needed it to be out there. To tell someone, even if nobody cares.