Did I report my rapist?
I couldn't choose either answers on the poll so I thought I'd share my story on a separate post..
I went to planned parenthood to get a test for stds after my rape. I was 16 at the time..The woman I was with asked me if I had ever been "taken advantage of" and I said yes. And she said "you can tell me how. I am here to help. I've been sexually abused before. If you have I can help you. I'm here for you blah blah"
Then she said "if you tell me, I don't have to report it. It'll be in your paperwork and besides that it's just between you and me"
She coaxed me into it. I wanted support so badly. I wanted someone to help me. I finally told her I was raped.
She comforted me a little and then left the room for a bit. She came back and said to me "sorry but I was mistaken. I do have to report it to the police"
That was that. She called the cops. And he interrogated me so harshly. Judged me for drinking. Asked me what I was wearing. Asked me what type of underwear I was wearing? Asked me "how did you know it was his penis he put inside of you?"
He left the room to get water and I bolted. Then he called my cell over and over and over telling me it was the law that he had to tell my parents. And I shouldn't have left and blah blah. I begged him and I mean BEGGED him not to.
He did call my parents. He told them. And going home to them was the worst night of my life. ...they were mad at me. Earlier the cop kept telling me on the phone "what are you hiding? Why don't you want them to know....if it wasn't your fault..."
Well because he didn't know my parents. I know them. I knew it would ruin things and it did.
After that, the cop referred me to a detective even though I didn't want to press charges. My rapist went to my high school. I was just a kid. I didn't want to draw attention to myself or make my self vulnerable again. The detective called me everyday pestering me for answers about my rapist.
Finally he called and said "look. It doesn't make sense why you wouldn't want to help me out with this information. Does this guy not exist? I know you were at planned parenthood. Maybe you were looking for an excuse for why you were getting tested for stds. Maybe you made it all up because you felt guilty for being sexually active"
Then he repeated "did you make it up?"
I just wanted him to leave me alone. I wanted to leave this whole unwanted experience behind. I said "yes".
I lost all dignity that day. I felt so small.
It's been 5 years but I still have flashbacks and wandering thoughts back to this experience more than the actual rape itself. I was just teen. I was raped and I was being smart by getting tested for stds. And I was taken advantage of... by so many adults that could have helped me.
Thanks for reading my story
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