Getting discouraged

Raine❤❤ • 2/26/06 9/27/07 3/19/09👼10/12/18 🌈 baby girl 🎀 3/16/2020🤰
So I broke down and took a test at 9dpo and it was negative. I've been trying for four years since I got off depo and nothing. I feel like I will never see a double line again. I just want my last child. Just had to vent a little.