Petrified of ttc

At the beginning of February I was experiencing lower abdomen pain. I had a miscarriage in May 2015 and this felt similar so I decided to take a test- Positive. I was petrified of going to the doctors and them telling me I had miscarried Again! I knew I had to go so off I went to the accident & emergency department. They admitted me straight away because I had a kidney infection and I only have 1 kidney. Upon having an ultrasound scan they told me that it was I fact ectopic. I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me. I have no children and I am only 22. They explained that because there was signs of internal bleeding that they would need to operate to remove my right tube. They did the operation 6 hours later. Its been 10 days since my operation and things are only just starting to sink in. I have so many unanswered questions and I feel I have nobody to talk to. I feel so alone.  My Fiancé has pretty much gone back to his normal routine and he hasn't really even mentioned the pregnancy he won't tell me how he is feeling. I have decided to get an implant fitted because I am so scared of falling pregnant again. But it's what I want most in the world. I feel so lost! I feel like the 1 thing a woman is supposed to do is the 1 thing I will never be able to do. I feel like I have failed. I am so low. I have 3 close friends around me who are pregnant and I am so very happy for them but when I've been around them I go home and cry. I'm totally lost.