How to tell him?

Question

I have been with my SO for 7 years. I own the house we live in. We also have a two year old son and work at the same place.
 He cheated on me several times but I chose to stay for our child and financial reasons and because he was all I knew. I moved away from ALL my friends and family for him. He was emotionally abusive to me and said if I left I wouldn't become anything and I believed him.  Dumb, I know but unless you were in the situation I was, it's hard to understand. (So please no rude comments on how I should of left him when he first cheated) anyways, I still loved him after this. But fast forward 5-6 years, things have been "okay" but I still have that feeling he will cheat. I've grown to despise him. And I would feel ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE leaving him, and that's what I want to do. There's no affection, no "how was your day?", no hugs/kisses, he's lazy, doesn't appreciate anything I do and is just inconsiderate. How do I tell him to leave? That I don't want this anymore?  That I'm not in love with him?

*we are not married

Answer

Just tell him. There's no way to make it easy, so just do it.

Answer

No easy way...there is a thin line between love and resentment.  Your feelings will not change so no point in dragging it out.  Just explain to him that you both deserve something better and despite your efforts to get over what's happened, it's not working.  Be kind, stay calm, don't yell, and be sympathetic to his feelings too...

Answer

That's tough! Tell him it's not working out and you want him out of the house by certain date. Tell him the decision is final and there won't be any discussion about it. You have to be firm, bcs he WILL try to convince you to try to mend the relationship. Good luck! You will feel SO relieved when he's gone and you start living your life on your terms! Been there, done that. :)

Answer

If he's violent and crazy, you may need to address this with help from people who are trained in domestic violence. I don't want to give advice that could cause you harm, so I'll just say talk to a professional. Some men refuse to let go.

Answer

Depends on if you think he's capable of violence or threats of violence etc. you HAVE to be smart about this for the sake of your children and your safety. In his mind he probably thinks he has you beat down so low that you would never dream of leaving him... And when you try to he could be capable of anything. You may want to confide in someone and tell them before you do it... Or if you think violence is possible then just go to the local police station and ask if you can talk to someone. Sit down with an officer and just talk to him or her about the situation ask for advice etc. I'm serious it's a good way to go. That way if something DID happen then you made the right moves before hand and people are aware of the situation. As far as the child is concerned he can take you to court and you guys can either agree on some type of custody or fight him for custody whatever you choose. But I would do whatever I can to make him leave as soon as possible. Abusive men can end up doing things you don't think they will do until it hits you in the face. If you want wait until he is gone for a full day or something and pack up ALL of his things.  When he comes home tell him you are not happy and you haven't been for awhile and you want better for yourself or to just be alone. And you need him to leave.  And it's non negotiable.

How to tell him?

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