Did you tell your parents?

Question

I'm sitting here waiting for my miscarriage to start in the next week or so.  I'm so devastated.  I've told a couple of friends and my boss, but for some reason I am scared/reluctant to tell my parents.  My husband and I have been married for two years and I'm 33 years old.  They want a grandchild so badly.  I feel like telling them would just make them sad for no reason.  But on the other hand I want them and other relatives to stop making comments about when are we going to have a baby.  I'm trying!  And obviously a failure at having a baby.  I just don't know if I should tell them or not.

Answer

Sweetheart don't ever feel like you are a failure, I am 25 with two children already and the doctor said I basically rolled snake eyes, it can happen to anyone at any age or time in anyone's life, please don't think this is your fault because it's not, it's just the way things happen sometimes! I am extremely sorry for your loss

Answer

Yes and I am glad I did because we have gotten a lot of support from them. My parents were so excited when we told them we were pregnant and they did cry when we told them we miscarried, but it helped them to help us cope.

Answer

I didn't tell my parents bc I didn't want to upset them. I've been saying to my husband for so long that I don't understand why nobody talks about this! I said (before we even started TTC) that it would be harder to tell someone "I WAS pregnant but now I'm not" than to say, (I think something bad is happening."  I just went through a MC completely alone (except for my husband) and it was so hard!  I wish the stigma of remaining silent about pregnancy loss would be a thing of the past.   My thoughts are with you ❤️

Answer

I was so thankful my parents knew we were pregnant.  They were so supportive during the difficult time.  I am sure they would want to know what's going on.

Answer

I made the (I now realize) mistake of telling my parents and sister as well as some friends when we found out we were pregnant... I felt horrible telling them I lost the baby.  I also wish I hadn't said anything because my dad and his wife cancelled a family trip because they thought I couldn't handle going if I was pregnant (wtf?) and then got in a huge fight after they found out I MCed.  Next time husband and I decided no one finds out until 12 weeks.  No one can help me feel better anyway.  I think it's so personal though.  Hope you get your rainbow baby soon after you get through this.  Sending hugs and support.

Answer

Also I'm really scared of the MC and freaked out that I have to wear pads.  And scared about being at work when it happens.  I haven't worn a pad since I was like 13 years old.  I want my Lunette cup. 😔. I literally have to go out and buy a bunch of regular underwear since all I wear is thongs.  I wish I could have a D&C but the doctor said no, that I'm too early on and there wouldn't be much they could do.  This is so terrifying.

Answer

I did I needed the support. You'd be surprised how supportive people are.

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I didn't tell mine or his parents either and we had five losses. They each only knew about one and that was a holy mistake! Its much too emotional for them and made us miserable bc they both got clingy and boundaries disappeared. So after we just said  we didn't want them right now and would wait a few years and straight up said don't ask anymore. Meanwhile we were trying and when we finally got pregnant, our 4 closest friends knew first for support in case another loss happened, they're like family to us. Then siblings found out about 11 weeks and then right before we told the world at 14 weeks parents were told. We would do it that way again, it was perfect and didn't put any emotional strain on anyone.

Answer

We told our parents. Kind of like what you said, I wanted to stop hearing "when are you going to have a baby?" when we are trying and failing. 😞 How far along are you if you don't mind me asking? I was only 6 weeks along but the doctor did a D&C. Nothing happened naturally in over 3 weeks

Answer

I think it depends on the parents. My brother and sister in law told my parents when they had both of their miscarriages. But my parents didn't tell any of the other kids, I only found out after they had a baby. I would tell my parents because I know they wouldn't broadcast it.

Did you tell your parents?

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