Over it👶

I'm at the point in my pregnancy where I don't know what is going on with my body anymore and I don't care.

Constant cramping? No, not a sign labor is coming on. We just want you to be as uncomfortable as possible.

3-4 bowel movements a day? We're clearing you out for labor, or just want to make your butt hole burn.

Acid reflux? Remember that spicy thing you ate a week ago? You're still in trouble for that.

Vagina punting? She's just getting into position... Or practicing a martial art... Who knows, it's normal.

Ribs feel bruised? Well if you google "rib pain" you'll get a bunch of results. Add "pregnant" to the mix and you best realize it's normal and stop complaining.

Feet can only fit into one pair of shoes? Fingers can't fit your wedding ring since the beginning of this year? Another symptom, write it off.

Not to mention leaky breasts, back pain, bleeding gums, the emotional maturity of a 3 year old, and a sleep deficit of 2 years.

Thanks for reading my rant, hope it made you laugh, or cry. Want to rant to me? Make it funny. We can all use a laugh these final weeks.