My husband and I had our first big fight since being married. I have a 6 year old daughter from a previous marriage that my current husband raises as his own and we have an 8 month old son together.

I am bi-sexual, so I fully believe in children freely expressing their sexuality. My husband doesn't have a problem with gay, trans, bi, etc. people. He accepts that I'm bi. But today we got on the topic of how we would feel if our son, when hes 5 or 6, decides for Halloween he wants to dress as a Disney princess. I'm completely fine with it. My opinion is, he's a kid, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean he's gay or transsexual or anything like that and its Halloween. Everyone is suppose to dress up for Halloween.

My husband thinks we should discourage it. He thinks we should teach him that its not acceptable. He thinks its a really big deal.

I do not.

Then we got to talking about if our son decides when he's 13 or 14 years old, and he decides he IS transgender. I think that if my son comes to me and sits me down and tells me that he truly feels with his heart that he should be a girl and that dressing and identifying as a girl would make him feel like he is being true to himself, then I'm okay with it. I will explain to him that the world may not always be kind and as accepting but I am his mother and I will ALWAYS love and accept him no matter what.

My husband thinks that at 13 or 14, he is too young to know for sure if thats how he feels and that until he's 17 or 18, he needs to dress and live as a boy.

I do not agree. I think if my son is mature enough to sit me down and express how he truly feels, then he is mature enough to make this decision. I even told me husband that if this happens and he comes to us and my husband shuts him down like this, when my son sneaks and does it, i will not tell him. That if he makes our son feel like he has to hide it, I will side with my son. That my children and their happiness comes first, That i dont want to keep secrets but for my childrens happiness, i will go to the end of the earth and back.

I know this is all hypothetical, but it just irks me to no end. We got mad and stormed off in different directions.

I also asked him, would he be okay if our daughter wanted to dress as the hulk (or something equally boyish) for Halloween and he said yes. I told him thats a double standard and i will not raise my children with double standards.