What does it mean when my husband stays neutral after a miscarriage??

Question

My husband and I had a miscarriage I cried a lot still cry when I think or talk about. But my husband on the other hand didn't cry didn't react at all. What does that mean? Every time I bring it up all he says is "don't start with that again, if I cry will the baby return?, we have a lot of time to get pregnant again". It makes me think it didn't matter to him what so ever and I tell him the next time we get pregnant won't be the same as the first time, and that makes me think he doesn't want to have a family.

Answer

Men do handle situations differently. He probably his hurting but he doesn't want the reminder of the hurt. He is right though...you have time. Sorry for your loss. Just lost mine 2 weeks ago.

Answer

It sounds to me that he's actually trying to just be strong. So many men are taught that emotions are weakness and that crying doesn't help. I'm sure he's more upset than he's letting on. Just be sure he knows that if he does want to talk about it that you're there for him.

Answer

Men handle everything differently. I felt like the exact same thing happened to me when I miscarried. I sat in the bathroom for hours as I felt my world crash and he sat in the other room. Automatically I started feeling angry towards him. How could he not be as upset as me? Why didn't he care? I stormed around for 2 months. I would cry over nothing. At one point I snapped at him for something stupid and stormed out. He followed me and when he caught up to me he said something I will not forget. "You know I lost a baby too. I was excited and I had plans too and that is gone now. You are not the only one who is dealing with this". It woke me up. I stopped holding the world against him and I started talking to him. He was just as upset as me he just didn't know how to show it.

We have two babies which he loves unconditionally and would go to the ends of the earth for. I found out last week we are expecting a little surprise in November and when I asked him what he was feeling the only word to come out of his mouth was " excited".

I feel your pain I was there 6 yrs ago. You will go on and there will be another baby. I know it is so hard! Give him some time to digest and to work through his emotions. Sometimes men just do not like to talk about it. But eventually they open up.

I am sending prayers your way for peace, understanding, and for another pregnancy!

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I feel guys don't feel the same as we do about being pregnant and it doesn't effect them as soon as we are effected by it. But I can imagine how much that hurts

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We have lost two in the last year and my husband never cried. Men react differently than women to things like this. He is just dealing with it in his own way. Try not to be angry with him over the way he's reacting to it - being upset will not help either of you.

Answer

My man is that same way and I have to say it hurts my feelings...We just lost our 1st baby last week 😢

Answer

From my understanding many men don't really sort of "get" that they're actually going to be fathers until the first time they feel the baby kick. It might not have really hit home for him the same way it had for you especially since he's not the one carrying the baby and dealing with symptoms.
 Additionally even if he did realize it I find that some men (like my hubby) don't get too emotional about anything and if they do they like to appear to stay strong. I've been with my husband for 7 years and never seen him cry or really get upset and we've nearly lost both his parents, my father, and I've been pretty ill to the point of being in the ER. I know he cares but he usually just goes with stuff and says he wants to see where stuff is going before he gets upset. Your hubby seems similar and was probably upset but is trying to find the silver lining that there's more time to have a child even though the first time didn't happen.
 I'm so sorry for your loss. It will get better with time and it's fine to grieve in your own way even if your husband doesn't grieve with you or understand. At the end of the day you will have to carry your next child, as I hope you do get pregnant again with time, so you'll need your time to get over this initial loss before embarking on another journey to motherhood. Best wishes!

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My partner only cryed a few tears but I knew it hurts him jus as much as me wen we had lost ours 6 months ago we are tryin again though

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For some men, it's not real, until their partner starts to show, or they see an actual baby, as opposed to a blob, on an ultrasound.  So, if you lost before those things, maybe that's what's going on. Or, it could be like those other ladies said, and he just doesn't know how to show that he's sad.

Answer

That's the same my cousin felt about her boyfriend when they lost their baby at 16 but we doing know is the he was dealing with it just as hard as her! It took him a while her to cry and tell his how much image was in pain about it and he even visited the grave mortem then any of us but it was all on his time because he said he had to be strong of us.

What does it mean when my husband stays neutral after a miscarriage??

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