Disappointed it's a boy. 😞

Well, today was our big gender reveal party. I had been hoping and PRAYING for a girl. Ever since I was little I dreamed of having girls. I'm such a girly girl and wanted to experience that mother/daughter bond like I have with my mom. I'd been having nightmares about baby boys since being pregnant, but I'd hoped it was just my fears playing out in my dreams. NOPE! We cut the cake and it was as blue as could be! I kept it together throughout the rest of the party, but once everyone left I bawled. And I mean ugly crying, snot dripping, sobbing, can barely speak kind of crying. It's been hours and I feel like I'm never going to get over the sadness. It feels all consuming and earth shattering! I feel absolutely horrible for feeling this way. I know there are lots of ladies that would love to have a baby let alone a boy, but I can't seem to pull myself out of this sadness. My husband seems disgusted with my reaction, and I already feel like a terrible person. I figured this would be the one place that maybe I'd get some support and others would understand how I'm feeling.