Relationship question? TTC after loss

Question

Background: Last May my SO and I lost our baby girl at 21 weeks. It was a horrific experience. I just suddenly developed a fever of 102 that wouldn't go away. They couldn't figure out what was wrong and kept sending me home until I started leaking fluid. I started to developed sepsis and they diagnosed me with Chorio, saying that the infection was in the fluid. I had a D & C and months later they determined the cause: a primary infection of herpes which my SO passed to me during pregnancy. Neither one of us have ever had any lesions to this day but apparently it can spread anyway.

Flash forward to today: We just started trying again, AF is late and I'm getting faint lines. I'm thrilled but terrified! I was told it was a one in a million thing last time and wouldn't happen again but I'm still so scared. My SO has a 2 night ski trip (4 hours away with no service) planned for next week and he still wants to go. I'm disappointed because I told him how scared I am and that I don't want to be alone. He just says it will be fine and I'm sure he's right. I just don't want to be alone and feel like this is so emotionally taxing. I just wish he would want to stay, you know? He also works swing shift and is gone all the time as it is.

What do you think? Should I let it go or talk to him again? What would you do? Am I being selfish?

Answer

I had a mc last year as well but I wasn't as far along as you. I got pregnant again 4 months later and the first trimester was the scariest time of my life. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make it easier for you after you've experienced such a devastating loss. It's been hard feeling connected to this pregnancy because I think both my husband and myself are being cautiously optimistic and trying not to get too excited (we are 16 weeks now). I will say that you're going to be terrified whether he is home with you or not. If it were me I would let I'm go have fun and invite a girlfriend over. Call over a friend, watch some movies to keep you distracted until you fall asleep. You're going to stress regardless, trust me. No sense in both of you being worked up over something you can't control

Answer

Is there a phone number for the place he will be going to? That way if there was an emergency you'd be able to get ahold of him. You wouldn't call except for an emergency. Or, would he be able to find a phone for a quick 2 minute call with you just to check in. Maybe even email. He should go as I'm sure you will be fine, but maybe put something in place to where you could get ahold of him if something comes up.

Relationship question? TTC after loss

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