Was diagnosed with PCOS at 17. I've been off birth control for about six months, I started in metformin about three months ago. Recently went back to my GP about some reoccurring side pain around my left ovary, so I have an US next week to check for a cyst, and also take a look at a possible deformation in my uterus they noticed in an US a couple years ago. It could be septate or bicornate. I'm doing a round of provera after that to force a period for uterine health. I saw a dietitian to help get on a diet plan that would be best for insulin resistance and weight loss, but due to life (see food poisoning screwing up my appetite, stress, work hours, etc.) have had a hard time sticking to it.

Since being off birth control my skin has been worse (however started using an oil cleanser and that helps), my body and facial hair seems to be longer, and it seems like I'm gaining weight.

In December I started a new job, I'm getting married November 5th, our lease ends Oct 31st because I'm terrible at paying attention, and we've decided to buy a house. My job is great, but I work at a magazine that publishes twice a month (see: stressful), I have a long commute, and is full of babyboomers who don't trust me.

On top of all that one of my bosses pregnant, one of our production people just had a baby, and one of my work friend's close friends is pregnant and that's all she talks about.

I'm happy for them, and everything is going well. But it's hard. Ive struggled with ptsd/depression/anxiety my entire life. Lately I'm sad, and I'm working with my Dr's on meds and trying therapy (again). Everything is overwhelming and hard and I'm just kind of sad. I don't feel like I can share my ttc struggles or miscarriage with my friends because I don't want to squash anyone's excitement or make people feel like they can't talk about baby stuff around me, even if the baby stuff is just bumming me out.

I just feel stressed, tired, ugly, defective and like a failure and it's just hard. Fiance helps me so much, but he doesn't really understand what it's like from my end to struggle with fertility and a miscarriage and stuff.

Life is just hard sometimes. But I am doing really well in life. I'm working on getting better and healtheir. PCOS just makes me feel defective and lonely.

Does anyone else have trouble with depression while ttc with PCOS? How are you handling/treating it?