In early November, my boyfriend and I were so excited to find out we were expecting. We had told a lot of our friends and family the great news, although a few told us we should wait, we were too excited to wait.

I was 3 months along, I had an early u/s at 6 weeks, everything seemed normal. We went for our 2nd u/s 3 days before Christmas, and leaving the clinic I had a sinking feeling that things were not right. Luckily I had a doctor's appointment scheduled right after, since the u/s technician could not say anything - I didn't want to be stressing about it any more than I already was.

When my doctor walked in the room, he immediately asked "so did anything change?"... confused, I said no, everything has been fine. He then said my u/s results were consistent with a missed abortion (missed miscarriage)... My heart sank. We were both devastated.

We left the doctor and headed straight for the hospital. We waited for hours and hours, I didn't want to believe any of it was true. Maybe there was a mistake with the u/s. But the doctor said the fetus was about 3 weeks behind, and no heartbeat. I was given the option of a pill, or an emergency D&C. I chose the pill, because I could start it after the holidays.

After 3 days of inserting the pill, nothing happened. So we had to go back to the hospital and schedule a D&C. About 1 Month after the D&C, I received a call from the hospital saying the tissue from my uterus was consistent with a molar pregnancy. My whole body went numb, my face must have been as white as a ghost, and I burst into tears.

For anyone who doesn't know what a molar pregnancy is, there are 2 types. A partial, and a complete. I had a partial because there was a fetus present. A complete would have no fetus. With a molar pregnancy, the baby receives 69 chromosomes instead of the usual 43 (2 sets from the father, 1 set from the mother). In a complete, it receives 2 sets from the father and none from the mother, but develops little "moles" in the uterus that continue to grow. The problem with these, is that they can cause a rare disease called gestational trophoblastic disease if the tissue isn't completely removed, and this disease can cause a rare form of cancer. The good news is that it can almost always be cured. But nonetheless, a very traumatic experience when you are already trying to deal with the loss of your baby.

Because I had a molar pregnancy I am not allowed to conceive for 6 months. I had to do weekly blood tests to see what my HCG levels were at. If I were to get pregnant and there was tissue left, it could cause serious issues, as well as the doctors would not be able to determine whether the HCG increase was from a pregnancy or a growing "mole".

My test results have consistently been less than 3, so I am able to do monthly testing now until August. So it is a huge relief that everything is looking up! The last few months have been a whirlwind of emotions, but I'm very lucky that I had such an amazing support system.

I think this is something that a lot of people need to be aware of, as it is a rare occurrence.

I was very embarrassed when this all happened, and at first I only wanted to tell my immediate family. But I've seen how therapeutic it's been to talk about this.

We both are excited to be finished with these tests, so that we can start trying for our rainbow baby.