Sad and confused

I need a listening ear I'm 27 no children no husband just a boyfriend of 5 years I left my family and everyone I knew and moved to NY to be with him at 22 I got pregnant he pressured me into having an abortion cuz he said we was too young I was scared and didn't want to be a single mom so I did it. I got on the depo right after for a year got off and then no period for one year yet dr says nothing is wrong with me. Prior to me dating him I had 3 pregnancies first at 18 mom made me have abortion then got pregnant again lost it at 8 weeks and the 3rd time with a new partner went all the way to 5 months and he slapped me one day and a week later I gave birth to a baby girl who the dr said they couldn't do anything for me so she passed that day I never had closure I don't even know what you did with her body I was only 19 now I want a baby so bad and I feel something is wrong I been trying for so long I feel like giving up and I go to the dr they just brush it off you young u will be fine but nobody knows I don't feel fine I feel hurt and I know this is slot but I just need some advice 😔