Miscarriage

So today my wife and I officially don't have a bun in the oven. We went to the doctors today so they can operate on her to remove the sad or whatever that was there. This is my second child I lost before they were born and my wife's First. I feel so bad for her but at the same time I'm hurting and have no one to talk to about it. Everyone keeps saying I need to be strong for her, there for her. She's going through a hard time right now. I get she's the one who's carrying the baby, but it's our baby not just hers. I was there to see it all happen. The fact that they use a small vacuum like machine to remove my child is something I can't get out of my head. The only person to even think about how I was doing was the nurse. And after it was done my wife says to me see it together because I can't have u breaking down and me worry about u and me. Fathers have feelings too and they love(the good fathers). I lost a child today but I can't express my feelings, I'm not allowed.