Mistake

So last night. I met my ex for the first time since last March and everything was fine. We went for a few drinks and I got drunk (which didn't take much because I'm pretty much a lightweight) anyway he took me back to his hotel room and we had sex 4 times through the night. Baring in mind, he's my ex and I thought I loved him when we were together but he left me for his ex because he said she was pregnant (which turned out to be a lie) then he came back to me after having 2 other girlfriends during the year. I just feel so stupid for going back there when I said I wouldn't. I'm not really looking for any advice I just didn't know where else to go because I fear my friends would judge me, despite them knowing I was meeting him. I feel like I'm a disgrace😔