Having second thoughts

My so and I have been trying for baby #2 for so long now I'm in my "fertile window" and we were gonna have "sexy time" tonight. But I'm having second thoughts I've finally given up I don't want another baby and maybe I'm not supposed to have another child considering its been years of trying. I told him I didn't want to but I told him that the reason was because I had to be in to work early not because my hearts been broken too many times and I just can't try anymore I'm literally crying as I type this. I'm so done