Anyways, I had 3 mixed drinks tonight. I haven't drank in 4 yrs prior to this so I was feeling rather drunk. I have about 30oz of breast milk stored (not a lot but an ok amount I think so she has food) but i just felt guilty and started crying and had to leave when my daughter started crying and looking at me when she was hungry. She was given a bottle but it made me really upset and feel guilty and selfish for not being able to nurse her and knowing I can't safely nurse her until morning. I'm outside typing this at 1am (threw away my drink @ 10:30pm because I felt awful) and I still want to just cry. I feel like I'm a terrible and selfish mother. I mean what kind of mother makes it so she can't nurse her own baby for a night. I haven't had any time away from her since she was born 2 mo ago and I regret taking 3 hrs away from her and doing something that prohibits me from caring for her the way she wants me to. :(