Newborn visitation

The father and I are no longer together and has much as I've tried to be civil and fair with him, he has been nothing but disrespectful and immature to me. We have not been able to get along about anything involving our son that is due in July. I've accepted that court is probably going to be the end-game but I wanted some advice/opinions or just anything to help ease some of the stress on my mind.

He thinks that as soon as our son is here, he will be able to have him whenever he wants for as long as he wants, including overnights. I am going to try to breastfeed so I have told him that for at least 6 weeks I would like visits to be at my home or with me present and then he can start taking him for a few hours, a few days a week away from me but overnights I wouldn't feel comfortable until he was at least 6 months old. He is claiming that I'm being unfair and am refusing him to see his son.

I offered up to 3 hours a day, 3 days a week on the days he worked and up to 5 hours a day on the 2 days he doesn't work with overnights starting at 6 months on the nights he didn't work either every or every other but that doesn't seem fair to him.

I've asked for sole legal custody but joint physical custody because I know we don't get along and we would be in court for every little thing and that's not right for anyone involved and in return, I would be willing to negotiate the cost of child support and not do the state guideline of 20%. That isn't good enough for him except he wants the child support negotiated because he thinks that if we have joint custody that he shouldn't have to pay any child support.

I even told him that if I had sole legal custody, I would still discuss and run important decisions by him even though I wouldn't be required to. I advised a parenting plan that stated everything from access to records to communication methods, everything allowing him access to his son but I did state that our son shouldn't be exposed to secondhand tobacco smoke including vaping and that was an argument because the juice he uses doesn't contain nicotine and that the subs be either removed from his vehicle or not to be in use while our son is in the car to prevent any ear damage and I was told that the subs wouldn't cause any damage because they weren't that loud.

I am losing sleep over this and am so fearful that when this goes to court, he's somehow going to get his way and I'm going to get a phone call one day that something bad has happened. I will also state that he keeps saying he wants to be involved and that he's not going to be this piece of crap baby daddy everyone keeps making him out to be which is wonderful. I want our son to know his father but at the same time, he complained about going to dr appointments and then when he finally went he would be on his phone the whole time or even fell asleep once. I told him about the last appointment and gave him the option to go and he didn't show and I have a feeling he won't go to anymore.

He says that I have to give the baby his last name ( I know I dont ) and that I have to allow him in the room. He also wants a paternity test that he says I have to pay half for (again, I know that isn't true) and has told me I'm responsible for providing things for his home for the baby.

I just need some non-biased advice or something because I am stressing out about this and I have the beginning stages of preclampsia so I know I can't allow myself to be this way but I can't help it. Please help.