Potential due date dilemma...

I am having a scheduled c-section and I just realized last night that there is a good possibility I will be given July 13th as the c-section date at my next appointment. I have no issue with the number 13, but on Friday, July 13, 2012 I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy and had to choose between surgery and methotrexate.

I am not sure how I will feel having my baby born on the 4 year anniversary of when I lost my last baby...

On one hand it will be an awful permanent reminder (I'm still not over the loss or the 4 year struggle to get here after it), but on the other hand it would be a nice circle of life thing with something so positive to maybe help me heal from such an awful day....

I feel that I have to figure out how I feel about it before my appointment in 12 days because there will be a limited number of options for my scheduled c-section.

Sigh... pregnancy hormones are making the decision so much harder because I keep crying when I think about it!!! But will I feel this strongly after the hormones are gone??? Who knows!!! Grrrr.