Am I taking this too personally?

Question

My husband and I have been married for just shy of 2 years, and together for about 8 and a half.  He just informed me last night (to be fair, I asked) that his grandparents had given him a lecture about "watching out" for me while we were dating.
I grew up in a working class *poor* family with a single mom, and had to put myself through college and grad school and ended up with a mountain of student loans.  Apparently his grandparents were concerned that I was only with him because I was "after the family money to pay off my loans."  They are...not poor.
I am in no way upset with my husband about this. He obviously wasn't concerned about it and didn't take it to heart, and he didn't even mention it to me until I asked on a whim.  However, I'm having a hard time not taking it as a personal assault on my character by his grandparents.  I would totally understand if they said this like a year into our relationship, but by the time they brought it up, I was already in grad school and we had been dating for over five years!  
I purposely waited to get married so that the loans would be mine and only mine if we ever got divorced- not that I plan to, but life happens (we live in a community property state, so after marriage most debt and income is considered the responsibility of both people).  Am I overreacting?
ETA:  thank you! I will work on absorbing and letting it go.  I realize that it doesn't reflect on him, and I don't even think it's so much that they said it that bothers me.  I think what is really getting me about it is that they 1) waited until we were so far into our relationship to say it, and 2) that they are perfectly friendly to my face.  Like, if you truly think I'm that type of person, why are you so friendly and polite. It feels disengenuous.

Answer

No, I would be deeply hurt by this. But their views obviously aren't reflective of your husband's views, and that's really all that matters in the end. I have a grandmother who, for as long as I can remember, has always had the idea that ANY girl my brother dates is out to get pregnant and "trap him into marriage." It never mattered who the girl was - according to my grandmother, they all had the same agenda. Point being, try not to take it personally. My guess is that no matter WHO your husband wound up with, his grandparents would probably convince themselves she was out for the money.

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I wouldn't get too upset about it. Older people have such outdated views on things. A lot of the time their views are coming from a place that was a reality 50 years ago because women weren't traditionally bread winners or even working back then. Back in their day it would have made sense to make that assumption about you. Move on and don't let it get to you

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Old people man - so bitchy. I'd be annoyed too, but inclined to be forgiving. I generally give older folks a pass for their more ridiculous views, since it's really hard to let go of your prejudices of any kind at a certain point in life. Try to let bygones be bygones once you've had a chance to process :)

Answer

I think your taking it a little to personally. I think when you start a family and your kids get older you automatically go into a defensive mode about protecting your family. Now if they still have those feeling towards you, then they are totally being assholes, but if it was just when I guys were first getting serious I wouldn't read to much into it.

Answer

You're entitled to feel the way you do about it, just don't let their way of thinking affect your life. Before my husband I married, a few of his uncles took offense to our relationship in general (he being white, and me being black). Obviously, our skin colors aren't something we can change, nor would we want to. And as upset as I was about it (as were other family members who fully supported us), I knew their issues were their own, not mine or my husband's. You know what your relationship is built on and no one else's toxic opinions can change that.

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I don't think it was personal. Just family looking out for their own money. If he had acted on their ideas I was be pissed. He is the one who loves you not his family.

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After my boyfriend's cousin broke up with her fiancé, his mother suggested that he and I would break up.

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My husband's mother once asked him "is this really someone you would want to marry" ...i was pissed when i heard about it but in the end I'm not marrying her I'm marrying him and he obviously did want to because we got married 2 yrs later lol

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I wouldn't take it too personally, that's his family and they were probably just looking out for his best interest. Unless there is other issues or animosity between you and his family, then I would let it go. My SO has a significant amount of debt, which is part of the reason why we are still engaged after 2 years, and my mom has brought it up to me before. I know she was just letting me know that once we're married, his debt will become my debt. Not because she dislikes him or anything. We're trying to get that straightened out before we get married, so it's not a problem later on.

Answer

Id feel the same way. I hate when people judge.

Am I taking this too personally?

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