Annoying advice after loss?

Question

It was sooo therapeutic reading the annoying pregnancy comments, I thought I'd share some of the most obnoxious things said to me after I lost my baby earlier this year (yay rainbow, please stick!! 💜)

"Well, you're so busy all the time with school, it's probably for the best"

"A lot of women realize that these things happen and don't get as sad about it as you are"

"You'll be pregnant again before you know it"

For the last one, well, fortunately for us we did get pregnant right away. But that does not for one second change the fact of what happened! Grr

Answer

Wooooow! Seriously? I doubt these women ever experienced a loss to know what they're taking about. Sheesh!

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"At least you know you can get pregnant." My all time fave. 🙄

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People are so idiotic!! My absolute biggest pet peeve is when someone's loved one passes and people try to put consoling comments on Facebook then put the prayer hand emoji to say they are praying for u. Like really?  A dumb emoji is supposed to make them feel better?

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Wow. I hadn't heard the one comparing one person's level of grief to another. They are all insensitive, but that's just cruel - to both women. You can't quantify grief any more than you can quantify joy....

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Ugh that first one! How can anyone say that?! I'm so sorry. I had a few insensitive comments after my miscarriage too but sheesh I think yours  are worse! Just think, now with our little rainbow babies we get to hear everyone's advice, since they all know what's best for us 🙄

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I'll add ..."at least u already have 2 kids" or "well at least u weren't that far along" as if having other kids or not being that far along make it any less painful emotionally or physically...some people are just so insensitive

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I hate the "things happen for a reason " response

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Wow, people can be so insensitive. I saw a really good video on Facebook the other day explaining the difference between empathy and sympathy. empathy is when someone decides to feel what you're feeling and say "wow, that's hard. I'm so sorry ". Sympathy on the other hand is when someone looks at you from a distance and says "that's so rough. At least…" No truly compassionate comment starts with the words "at least."

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I got so frustrated with the "oh they're so common, I think a lot of women go through it."

I don't care if it's "common" (which, by the way I don't consider roughly 20% of known pregnancies to be common enough to act like it happens to everyone)... it's devastating! I will say that I think carrying our Rainbow Baby has already made me a better mother! :)

Annoying advice after loss?

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