How I really feel

I think for the first time I feel anger about my miscarriage. It's like my sister gets pregnant has an abortion then offers the one she got now to me like that will help I don't want to  take in your baby so you can want them back. Then it's like I'm mad because so many people have babies under all circumstances and I have been in a pretty good one in my opinion and I can't do the one thing I should be able to do correctly. That really hurts I hear other stories try to find the silver lining and nothing. I'm just so hurt today I would have been 6 months and if I could have made my body hold on to it longer maybe our baby would have lived it's not fair. I pray all the time trying to find closure and today has been extremely hard. I thought it was my month my period has been regular so af due the 29th was having symptoms or so I thought took a test and one line I hate one liners. I have only seen two lines once and it makes me wonder was I ever even pregnant. I'm so hurt and Angry like really angry