I haven't felt anything in awhile. My depression and anxiety have consumed most of my life. There are moments like yesterday where I think they've finally left. I finally feel happy. But then it's gone. I don't know how to handle anything anymore. I can't even function and there's no way out for me. Killing myself is not an option, people depend on me. My family depends on me to help them and take care of them. I haven't had health insurance for a long time. I can't afford doctors and I have no time to look up different aid methods. I'm done. I'm dead inside and can hardly care enough to put a smile on my face for them. Nobody wants to be with me. Everyone leaves. And they can't help me even if they stayed. This is no life I'm living.