I'm looking at the number to call, to get the ball rolling, and all I can do is cry. I thought I was past this stage. When I first found out I was pregnant there wasn't a doubt i'd keep it. That lasted maybe 24hrs. Baby's father says he'll go with whatever choice I make but swears this isn't practical to keep it. And he isn't wrong. But I know people who have made it work on a lot less. All the practical reasons in the world had a damn hard time convincing me to do this. But last week I hit a point where I felt I was ready to go through with the decision. Where I could agree that it was best. I was looking on the bright side and ready to make the call. But I wanted to see the father first. Tell him in person. But during the whole time we were together I couldn't get the words out. It wasn't like they got stuck in my throat, just that it never felt the right time. I asked him today if he still felt abortion was the right choice and he said yes, because having the baby wasn't practical. And for the first time in a week I broke down crying. I've been crying ever since.

For the ladies who went through with it, how did before feel? Were there tears even though it was the right choice? Am I supposed to feel relief with my sadness to signal this is a good call?

And to the ladies who got there and walked out and had the baby, what emotion or moment let you know you couldn't do it?

I know this is all individual but I need guidance from people who have stood where I am now and made the choices I don't know how to make.