Abortion the day before Mother's Day

I just had my first abortion yesterday and now today is Mother's Day. I can barely function and I feel as though I've made a huge mistake. There was no way for me to keep it and only two friends and the father, my boyfriend, know.
Does it ever get easier?
Right now I feel like I should be dead rather than it. 
The father and I even saw it on the ultrasound and I thought about running out. I hate myself so much.